Tuesday, September 11, 2007 1:51 PM
I learnt 2 lessons yesterday
1. I am not as amazing as i think i am
2. My mental strength is that of a normal person.
I,ve always thought of myself as mentally superior to others. (Not as in grades but as in determination)
I still remember. The times where i would practice guitar licks like hell.
If i couldnt play that particular part, i would practice and practice. Till i got it right.
It didnt end there. After getting it right, i would have to do it again to make sure that it wasn't a fluke.
Only after being able to play the same thing 3 times in a row would i finally feel contended.
Yesterday was the first time i studied for such a long period of time. I reached home at 2.30
Studied till around 5 before fatigue gave in. I slept till 7
After dinner at 7.30 i went through my SS. till 10. I then switched to physics for a while and back to SS at 11.30. I continued till 2.15
After that , back to physics. i slept at 3.00
What really affected me was SS.
Firstly , my aim was to get A1. I could pass without studying to be honest, but i want my A1.
So i started off with Conflicts among countries. (Note that i,m thorough and cover every detail so it takes a while to complete a chapter)
At 8pm i had finished Conflicts among countries and Diplomacy and Deterrence.
I told myself. Goodjob. Just 8 more chapters to go....
At 11.30 i was done with merger and seperation. 7 more chapters to go...
At 12.30 i finished SriLanka and Nothern Ireland.
That was when things hit me.
Imagine yourself in my situation.
Its 12.30am you have 2 papers tomorrow. You have 4 more chapters to go. You have 5 more chapters of physics to study.
What am i gonna do?
Well hey. Give me some credit. Ok lets be smart. Spot question.
(Initially i intended to study all the sec 3 topics. By doing so at least 1 topic i covered would come out)
But Nooo. The me who knows SS well thinks. Sure. But what if the question is particularly difficult.
I didnt dare take the risk. I finished Singapore's Industrial development at around 1.15
Now.. things were really starting to affect me. I was dead tired. I hadnt touched physics.
That was where my determination broke.
I hastily picked out the topic that was likely to come out.
Chapter 2 : a countries most precious resource.
Thankfully i worked hard during the year so i could relate to the points and factors. After finishing that chapter at around 2.00am
I rushed through the remaining 3 chapters in 15mins. <--- lack of determination
I managed to cover some physics topics but.
The rate i was going i was just reading. I wasnt even sure if i was absorbing anything.
I took 2mins to study thermometers....
I took 30 seconds to study static electricity.
At 3am i collapsed onto my bed. My sleep was not peaceful. Even while lying with my eyes closed. Factors and formulas still ran through my head.
My dreams didnt help much either. I forgot what i dreamt about but it had me waking up twice in the night feeling startled.
What an irony though.
Guess what came out for SS?
Diplomacy and Deterrence.
meaning? i could have been lazy and stopped studying at 8pm to move on to physics.
Well, it doesnt matter. At least i know that i worked hard. Sadly i doubt i,ll be able to get an A1.