Saturday, September 1, 2007 1:35 AM
why am i so fucking weak?
hai... today was supposed to be a very very fun day. yet all i feel is this wave of depression and the constant tugging of my heart.
Am i being misled? am i misintepreting certain signs? what if its not what i think it is.
I dont dare go any further. The impact X has on me is getting even bigger and bigger.
I,m getting mixed signals. I dunno what to do. I dont know if i can trust my heart.
I know its hard for you. But its taking its toll on me too. If you were to ( wow it really happened ) its like i was thinking about it and it really happened...
As i was saying before i was gleefully interrupted. ( hey i,m not complaining ) If you were to just talk to me right now. I,d be so glad. Because you care.
... What am i saying of course you care. but still i,m getting mixed signals. my mind cant handle it. I should just immerse myself in work and guitar to take my mind of this. But then everytime that sound appears and that little chat window suddenly pops up. i cant help but feel joy flood me. hai....
I dunno what to say , what to do. Whatever it is , i hope things turn out well.
I,m such a little man.