Stealing a quote from Ms Teo,

Its rather sobering.
What is rather sobering?
Its the attitudes of people around me.

I have mentioned before, that i feel that people just aren't taking me seriously.
It happens in school, in drama, in class.
The funny thing, is that people don't take me seriously, during the instances where i'm actually trying to get something done.
During Blithe Spirit, people thought that i was kidding about the deadlines i set them. Well maybe its because throughout the whole production, i never screamed at them even once, or maybe its because i just sat around and laughed. Maybe its because i chose to sing lady gaga while doing my duties or because i said stupid things.

I gotta admit. Singing lady gaga is an enjoyable pastime.

The same scenario is actually duplicated in class. Some, not all, but SOME, actually think i spend 24/7 fooling around. Maybe its because i dismiss "things" which are seemingly important to them in a casual tone. Or maybe its because i sing more than lady gaga in class. Maybe its because i'm asleep in almost every GP lesson, or talk to Trini during econs. Perhaps its due to the way i talk, the use of "sup", "stuff" and "shit" in my frequent vocabulary.

The reason why i'm writing this, is because i was told that i don't seem to be serious about my studies.
What an insult! I spit at that remark "Pui!"

I believe that whoever who said that, needs to re-evaluate his/herself. I do have a theory for this person's rationale behind the comment though. Its either, number 1, that person is too Stuck-up with his/her goals that he/she fails to see beyond a simple (its not even a facade) layer behind my actions, or number 2, that person is too stupid to even realize what he/she is implying.

I chose to believe, based on my knowledge of that person, that he/she falls under category 1. Honestly speaking, dear X, you have your aspirations and your goals and you wanna do something good in the future. First step, A levels. Its easy to comprehend. This is pure speculation but i do believe that theres parental pressure in the attainment of this short term goal.
Believe me. I'm reaching for an even higher goal than yours.
But recently, i've really been questioning myself. I came to the conclusion that i still wanted to achieve that aim of mine, but theres no point trying to pull this off if i remain stuckup and sad everyday. If i'm gonna do this, I'm at least gonna do this happily you know. Whats the point of living life, if you don't enjoy it.

Congratulations, heres your A, oops you have no friends and what? your JC life was just pure studying? (you dont need to go for parties you know, just do what you like)
That statement, was an exaggeration. Of course you have friends. Of course your JC life isn't just pure studying. But through exaggeration, i get my point across.

I do believe i'm encouraging secessionist behavior, going against your parent's wishes... O well. Its true. No point sulking all the time.

Moving on, YOU, with that kinda attitude that i have just identified, said something like that about me. I find it really jarring and insulting, thats saying a lot since i dont get mad easily.
Well, let me get this clear. Just because I don't conform entirely like YOU, and choose to do things my own way while having fun, does not mean that i'm not serious at all about my studies.
FOOL. I'm probably more serious than YOU!
Open your EYES! I don't like talking about myself in such a manner but, how do you think i get my grades. They arent the best seriously, but i choose to believe that they are decent. Hmmm let me think, playing warcraft all day long helps you in history?
YA. I do play warcraft but dammit, studying and spending 24/7 with the revision package WILL help you, but you WON'T improve that much.
I mean, i'm sure you can squeeze in 10 pages of content into a 45 minute paper right?

And, for goodness sake, sometimes people overlook the fact that I'm actually taking a friggin H3 Research paper. Just because I dont talk to Sherrie all day long about how fucked up my research is coming along doesn't mean that i'm not trying and having my problems too you know. Jess is obviously an over-achiever and its her right to complain with so much shit in her life (I still love you jess) but dammit! Just because i laugh and i don't say anything doesn't mean i'm not serious about it at all.
Look! you think its easy dealing with the pressure, you look at your work, you realize that you're the only person in school doing this and then you realize that it equates to 0% distinction rate and you end up feeling like SHIT.
Get this straight, I chose to take up the paper so i have no right complaining about how sucky it is, but dammit to say i'm not serious?

Same friggin thing applies for drama. I don't think my set rocked much, But the friggin set doesn't materialize out of no where. Not to mention i had frigging YF to handle which actually adds to work rather than reduces it. (Thank you sydney and karishma, w/o the both of you i don't know what i would have done)

My goodness. How shallow some people can actually be. Honestly, JC is so tough, you spend hours being tortured by having to remember facts, think hard etc. Its enough to make anyone depressed. Yet, when you're not studying and being serious, you still want to carry that same depressing mood around? Its painful enough to make anyone sick.